i send my SOS to the world- this is my message in a bottle. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Twenty- Two Today What a great year. 21 is officially over, 22 has officially begun. I said that 21 was going to be kickass, full of memories, debauchery, and general living it up. And you know what? ...It was. I did some amazing things this year- and I had SO much fun doing it. It started last year in Vegas, and through this year, I've been back 3 times, San Fran twice, and many many nights out, dancing in the SoCal night in PB and the Gaslamp. I started school at State, I made the decision to move to San Francisco. I dated, but I didn't give my heart away this time, and even reclaimed some of it back. I've danced my ass off, I've laughed, I've renewed old friendships that I've really missed. I've learned to be less impressed by sweet words. I've figured out what I deserve. I helped my sister move out. I've changed jobs again. I feel somewhat smart. I've been betrayed by people I have loved, and I have learned not to accept that anymore. I've also forgiven people that I thought I never would. I've eaten way too much pasta. I'm watching friends that I am so proud of, go and do some very adult things; graduate, law school, med school, grad school. I'm realizing that my time for that is coming very soon. I'm getting less affected. I'm learning me. I've resolved to find a nice boy for the new year. I've made life changing decisions. I gave it up. I made mistakes. I wouldn't change a damn thing. But more so that that, I feel...adult. Isn't that strange? Not so much adult, in the conventional sense... But just more..centered. Sure of things. A little less naive, but a little more assured. A little less willing to compromise. Almost slightly less jaded, but more all encompassing. I'm still me though, as much as I try to pretend otherwise. I'm still a people pleaser to the people I care about, I'm still have a soft heart, I still care in a way that surprises even me, in as much as I try to put my toughest skin on the exterior. I feel...infinite. ;) And tonight was great, it really was. Mainly because it was just me, being around people that I really love. It makes me warm and fuzzy to know I have friends that I really care about. Dinner at Buca di Beppo where I got my Linguine Frutti di Mare... we even got free salad and bread because they thought I was "Sandra"... who had a preset menu. Nice... then after much wandering around the Gaslamp, we ended up at Rock Bottom, where I had my poison drink that got me nice happy buzzed. Jade got me the new Jason Mraz Live CD/DVD combo which I am SOO excited about and listening to as we speak, as well as a burberry bag, and a necklace to match the earrings she got me earlier, and a frame with a picture of us... MAN she spoiled me this year! Gil made me the most awesome canvas portrait of me...man that is so great, and it's so beautiful... wow. Dave and Shannon got me three cases for my iPod, which I am so psyched about- I've been wanting one for months, but never got around to doing it... and Lacriox made me the most awesome white macadamia chip cookies that I am currently munching on. Man I LOVE my friends- they are too good to me. I was talking to Dan 2 when I got home, and I started to discuss the upcoming year ahead- which is potentially very full of change... I could be spending half of my 22nd year in San Francisco...away from here, for the first time in my life. There is the potential for so much- like there is every year. And I think going into it with the resolution to make it the best year, every year, is what makes them so amazing. This year...is also going to rock. 4:14 a.m. - Sunday, Oct. 24, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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