i send my SOS to the world- this is my message in a bottle. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tales of a Sorority Girl
Okay, so now I can type because the buzz and incoherency has faded. Today was a long ass day. I had a class today and it seems like ten years ago. I went to this sorority/frat mixer tonight. The girls...were....talking at a very high decibel. They had cutesy voices and were asian and super friendly. There were a lot of them. It's been a long ass time since I've been around that much estrogen. It was good for the fact that it was that "something different" i said I was going to do. But yea. We played pool and I was kinda kicking ass. It was weird because I'm really NOT good at pool. I really SUCK ass. But I was like making shots and kicking ass...and the other girls were like..."oh, look at me I'm so cutesy and girly and can't make a shot...." Maybe it's the competitve streak in me, but I can't be going down like that dude. Hells nah. Then we went to this party at one of the frat guys' houses across the street. That was better- music, some dancing and fun times. We played some game. The girls were friendly, but why is that the only person I really spent time talking to aside from Chin was some frat guy? I say that in a totalllly platonic way, no flirting or anything. But the girls were surface, only the guys were like cool and down? Well, scratch that. There were a couple of reallllly skeezy guys who were just like...ew, but aside from that. And the drinks were strong as all hell. Ridiculously strong. I know for a fact my tolerance is really high, but that shit knocked me on my ass really fast. I was straight buzzing fast. I told Chin we had to cut out of there because I don't trust me or them and I'm not about to be messed up in a frat house far away from home with people I don't know. HELLO, no. But anyway, random observation- I'm noticing this. Why are girls not friendly to me? I would say it's a reciprocal thing, so I guess it's partially my fault to, but in my classes thus far I'm barely ever able to make friends with girls. They talk to each other... but for some reason it's soooo much more natural and easy to talk to the guys in my classes. And totally not in a flirty way- just it's easier for me and them; to ask questions, to dialogue without feeling weird. GRRR. AND on top of that, why is it that I can make friends with them, but am totally incapable of taking it to the next level? WHY? I mean the girls at the sorority were plenty friendly: but they're SUPPOSED to be. That's what it's there for. Friendly...but not... real. One of them asked me what my conceptions of sororities were....I said "well, I think that they have a reputation for being facetitious and surface" and she asked if being there changed that conception and I responded, "well, i've only been here an hour". C'mon. They were surface to me, I don't know them. You can't think anything is deep after an hour, unless you're really talking and learning. I had fun and I'm sure everyone was friendly enough and all that, but I know that at times my "standoffish" vibe came through. I didn't mean for it, but I can't look totally animated 100% of the time. That'd just be weird. So some guy said to me, "you look bored" to which I responded, "I just have that kind of face". Which I do. So that's my night. I'm supposed to go to a bonfire with another sorority/frat tomorrow. Perhaps. I've also had a revelation in my stupor. It kinda sucked, made me sad and made me reevaluate everything. I should stop thinking when I drink. It sucks. The end of my story for tonight. 1:56 a.m. - Friday, Feb. 04, 2005 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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