i send my SOS to the world- this is my message in a bottle. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Where Is My Home?
I wanted to write a different entry for my first one back, an entry to detail the last moments of my time in the city, the evolutionary process, the way the I-5 looks unchanging for miles and miles. But instead, I mainly recall beginning to sob as my car turned onto 19th Ave, and not stopping through the entire breadth of San Francisco, from John Daly Blvd, until I got onto the Bay Bridge. I cried and couldn't stop myself, no concrete thought other than the acute feeling of loss. And that's mainly the recurring theme of any moment when I give myself enough time to breathe that in. Even last night here in San Diego, for the first time being with my family, my grandmother and my aunt, praying for my grandpa--- loss. And when I get an email from a friend today, that inexplicably brings on more sobs that I can't quite explain. Other than the people who know I'm home, I haven't told anyone I'm back yet, really. I. just. feel. so. far. away. 12:40 p.m. - Tuesday, Jun. 07, 2005 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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